A Survey for the Old People

I stumbled upon this on Daclaren’s Blog. It cracked me up so much, I had to participate.

Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?
‘Have you ever kissed someone?’
‘Missed someone?’
‘Told someone you loved them?’
‘Drank alcohol?’…
50 questions below for the people who are a little older….

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
All of them. I hate them equally. The mailbox is like the principal’s office and a line is like a test of steely resolve.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Uh? Does it count if we licked food off of each other on the bed?

3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
I mean, of course I would have rather gifted it to Darren, but maybe I needed the experience. Ultimately, not really. Darren took ‘spoiled goods.’

4. Do you own a guitar?
No. I used to.

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Hicks. Christian Nutter.

6. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
I sure have. And it got lost on the way to the shock trauma unit. Seriously.

7. Do you own a piggy bank shaped like a pig?
No.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
Two different ones.

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It’s business like.

10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
Why are we so upset we have to pay the same for gas as we do for bottled water? I don’t get it.

11. Do you shower facing the shower head or with your back to it?
Back to it as much as possible. Contact wearer AND blind. I prefer Baths (I was raised Baptist. We’re all about the dunking).

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Fuck, I’m late.

13. What was your last thought before going to sleep last night?
I’m not THAT tired. I can keep my contacts in. ZZZZZZZ

14. Do you have anything in your pockets right now?
No Pocketses.

15. How many windows are open on your computer?
22

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Laundry.

17. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer?
Depends on what I could do.

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in, but my body doesn’t let me anymore.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Stitch!

20. Who was the last text you received from?
Darren

21. Are you a daydreamer?
Extensively.

22. When did you first start feeling old?
16

23. Favorite 80’s movie?
Day of the Dead. Oh, did you mean John Hughes-like? Of all of his, prolly Breakfast Club.

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Turkey

25. What do you get every time you go into Costco?
Costco? You jest.

26. Beach or lake?
Depends. Beach is closer.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No!

28. Do you own property?
No.

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Playing hooky to spend time with Darren.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
Legally Blonde. Shut up.

31. What’s your drink at the bar?
Rum & Coke

32. Cowboys or Indians?
My imaginary friends hated that game.

33. Are you sarcastic?
See above.

34. Are you shy?
I prefer to think of it as ‘painfully introverted.’

35. In the past week have you gotten sick?
Eh, I’m ok.

36. Norm or Cliff from Cheers?..
Cartman.

37. In the past week have you felt stupid?
Yeah, I have.

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Like Daclaren — can I just wipe entire relationships? Pleeeease?

39. In the past week have you gotten your hair cut?
No.

40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Jimmy Carter.

41. Indoors or Outdoors?
I enjoy both.

42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
A brand new one. Before I had even made a payment!

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
No.

44. Last book you read for real?
Oh, God, I don’t remember. A software manual.

45. Has someone disappointed you recently?
Nah.

46. What was the last film you watched?
Spiderman 3

47. Somewhere in California you’ve never been and would like to go?
San Francisco.

48. Have you been outside the USA?
Indeed.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Eh.

50. Just how OLD are you?
I’ll be 32 in December.

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