I am Cassandra

I was talking the other day to Lou Ann, and explaining why the name “Cassandra” is one that has followed me not only in my career, but in my personal life. Hi, I’m Jamie, and I’m an analyst. And, I am a very, very good one, if I do say so myself (see resume below).

As an analyst, I have the very deep honor of being paid to think. And I really do consider this an honor — can you believe it? People think I’m smart enough to let me think on the job. Analysis in the IT industry, and in healthcare, is an interesting mental exercise — you have to try and predict what could possibly go wrong, and figure in some time to fix it, in addition to just doing the work. I’m sure you’ve noticed that computers don’t always do what you may want them to do.

Analysis, at least in a systems sense, is actually a balance of two abilities — one, the ability to look at data and extract information, and the other is to be able to formulate data to extract from — in other words, not only do analysts analyze, but they model as well. And I’m good in this super sick way at modeling.

And I guess I get a little sensitive, as anyone would after years and years of practicing a discipline and a way of thinking, that I don’t get listened to, or I get dismissed as ‘paranoid’ or ‘uncooperative.’

And, this story was told before. Many, many hundreds of years ago. The story was about a woman named Cassandra. I like to think she would be one hell of an analyst. She was a young girl that Apollo fell in love with, and he gave her the gift of prophecy. When shit went south, he spit in her mouth and made it so no one would believe her. So, she was right, but no one would believe her. After that whole Trojan war bit, since our friend and genius analyst Cassandra was actually Trojan, she was given to Agamemmnon as part of his spoils of war. So, with his new Trojan super smart concubine in tow, Agamemnon returns home. But, there was this family fued going on, and his wife, Clytemnestra was completely won over by his brother. So, her son, Orestes, and her daughter Elektra conspired to kill Agamemnon pretty much the moment that he walked back into the castle. It’s kind of funny to note, by the way, that both the Elektra and the Oepidal complexes don’t work name-wise because the issues they describe simply aren’t in the myths — while Elektra did cheer Orestes on, she wasn’t exactly dealing the killing blows. More like . .. hiding behind a curtain and egging him on.

Anyway, so before Agamemnon walks into the castle, Cassandra flips out. Tells him everything — that they are going to get killed, and this is a general bummer. Agamemnon ignores her, takes her by the hand, drags her into the castle, where both meet a horrible and bloody death. This isn’t where the Orestian saga ends, but this is where I’m going to stop telling the story because I’ve made my point.

The point is this. Know I am an analyst. Give me credit that even the things I say that might make you uncomfortable or make you think I’m paranoid that I probably have a reason for thinking them. Know that I probably have data to back up my argument. Don’t marginalize me. And, to answer your question, of course I probably think about things too much!

 

That quote meme. . .

Coiledsoul, beyong just being extremely, extremely cool and a great writer, does some of the best memes ever.   She selected the Quote meme, where you go to this page, and hit refresh until you get quotes that are applicable to you, and describe you.  So, here goes:

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
Walter Bagehot (1826 – 1877)

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.
Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955)

Words calculated to catch everyone may catch no one.
Adlai E. Stevenson Jr. (1900 – 1965)

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas A. Edison (1847 – 1931)

 

A Meme for Lunch

This is from coiledsoul, and you’re supposed to:

Pick an artist.

Only use their song titles as your response

1.) Are you male or female?
O Girlfriend

2.) Describe yourself:
Undone (The Sweater Song)

3.) Describe your day?
Say it Ain’t So

4.) Describe where you currently live:
Beverly Hills

5.) If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Island in the Sun

6.) Your best friend is:
The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived

7.) Your favorite color is:
Across the Sea

8.) You know that:
Thought I knew

9.) What’s the weather like?:
Holiday

10.) If your life was a television show, what would it be called?:
Freak Me Out

11.) What is life to you?:
Heart Songs

12.) What is the best advice you have to give?:
Smile.
13.) Describe your ex?:
Everybody get Dangerous

14.) Your current love interest is?:
My Best Friend

15.) What’s your favorite hobby?
Photograph

16.) When you think of your friends you think?:
Fall Together

17.) What do your friends think of you?:
Don’t Let Go

18.) What does your current love interest think of you?:
Jamie

19.) What do you want to be when you grow up?:
Troublemaker

20.) The best way to end a long day?:

Love Explosion

PS – Total Kudos if you can guess my band.

 

Cult of Personality

For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved personality tests. I know, it’s kind of lame, but there it is. I’m not the only one — in many cases, business administer personality tests such as the Myers-Briggs, Enneagram Type, and DISC assessments to potential job candidates. There was a fascinating, if not completely accurate book about Presidential Temperaments.

When I first attended Chatham College, incoming freshmen were required to take the full Myers-Briggs Assessment, which contained 1200 of those questions. Ouch. The kicker was, I had taken the test before, and I have consistently scored the same personality type since first taking the test as a high school senior.

In case you were curious, here’s how I score on those personality tests:

Myers-Briggs: INFP, Role Variant: Healer
Enneagram: 2, The Helper
DISC: DOMINANCE = 32, INFLUENCE = 12, STEADINESS = 36, COMPLIANCE = 20

 

I haven’t been blogging a lot because I’ve been super, super busy at work.  Just flooded  To illustrate my point, here is a weensy little snapshot of my madness.

I especially likethe part where I’m scheduled for two phone calls.  I figure I’ll hang up early from one and pick the other up pretty quick, but yeah,  I’m laughing on the inside.

In other news, during Pete’s break out here, we went to the Museum.  It was a great time, but all my pictures from it pretty much suck.  You can find them here. I had both of my cameras with me, an old Sony Cybershot that I took with me to Scotland, and my treasured Olympus.  By the end of the day, the Olympus refused to write to the memory card, and the CyberShot just refuses to turn on — but at least the Cybershot let me grab the pictures back off of it.  It was the camera’s dying action — letting me download all those pictures.

So, I bit the bullet and replaced just the point and shoot — I plan on saving up for a Canon Rebel Xsi, but until then, I’m eagerly anticipating the arrival (Monday) of my new Olympus FE-310.  I suppose the wait is good for me, but it truly reminds me of how American I really am.  I simply have no patience for waiting, and am all about the instant gratification.

Speaking of Americans, the last two weeks have contained a lot of speechifying.   The Democrats and the Republicans both had some big parties this week.  After all the craziness, I suppose the thought that sticks with me is the horror of hearing people chant for drilling, and make cute little jokes about war.  I’m not laughing.

I’ve been watching quite a bit of media lately, and for the first time ever, my iPod is full.  Since zombie has been wiped twice since I last synched the thing, and I have no idea where the discs with my backups / music actually is, I’ll be loading up iTunes and replacing my music, just so I can watch a few videos.  Specifically, Doctor Who.  I’ve started at series 1, and have vastly enjoyed the first six episodes of the new series.  It’s on YouTube, so check it out.

Really, that’s about all I have to report. . . At least until I buy myself a few spare minutes here and there. . .

 

Beavis and Butthead Do America

As we have been watching Beavis and Butthead more and more lately, I have to say they haven’t lost anything over the years. 

My favorite episode of Beavis and Butthead:

We went to Amoeba yesterday to pick up a couple of the Mike Judge Collections, and “Beavis and Butthead Do America.”  While there, we spotted these Beavis and Butthead action figures, that were $60 a pop.  I have to say, I’d rather get one of these bobbleheads would be way cooler.

 

A Quick Note from Last weekend.

The only kid’s movie character cuter than Wall-E is Stitch.

 

Adorable Wall-E and his trinkets

Stitch – lookin happy

 

Me vs. The Rapture

I’ve been struggling with a lot of insecurities lately, I’m sure everyone has noticed.  Everyone who has known me for a long time will also know this is pretty par for course.  I guess this time in fighting it, I am trying it as an analyst — to observe when it started, and figure out how to combat it.

As I’ve been pondering, trying to heal old wounds ripped open by great stress, I was reminded of my response once when asked why I was a Buddhist –  I said, that it was the path that taught me how to see things for the way they really were — good or bad, pretty or ugly.  When I was meditating and doing yoga at my peak of such activities, I had come to more of a peace with myself.

So, where do these things COME from?  I would have to blame, in part, the faith with which I grew up.  While I was raised in the Southern Baptist church, I do not blame them, merely a sub set of their practitioners, specifically let’s call them the ‘end timers’ that take it to a hurtful and terrifying level.

When I studied the Bible at Pitt, in one of my favorite classes which approached The Bible as a piece of literature (as opposed to a theological text), I learned about some of the alternative ways of interpreting The Bible from the hardcore Protestant upbringing I had.  I learned at a first brush about the Gnostics (Darren introduced me more firmly to their enlightening beliefs later), and of particular interest to me at the time were the preterists.  They believed, essentially, that the end times spoken of in that lighthearted frolic of a book, the Book of Revelations, had already occurred.

Growing up, I was troubled about religion.  Sore, sore troubled.  Particularly the end times, as I was kind of seen as, well, evil by the people around me — I was born of sin, and had two ‘abominations’ as parents and thus I was one, too.   So, as if my mother walking out / abandoning me / choosing something more ‘pleasurable’ than me wasn’t enough to hurt my self-esteem, I knew, without a doubt, I was totally screwed within my religion.  And I was a KID.  What the hell did I know, and why does it stick around?  Eventually, I became obsessed with the idea of the end times, trying to figure it all out, reading everything from the book of Daniel to works by Hal Lindsey.

I can say, that one of the big contributing factors to me being spooked by the end times was this movie:

It’s called “A Thief in the Night.”  For some reason, the music freaked me the fuck out.  I guess I’ve always been a punk rock girl:

In this next one, you’ll see another one of my “favorite” things, a weird ass clown. I’m actually watching along, and I love the whole exchange regarding “You can just be converted LATER.” Maybe she was using it as an excuse, like “I gotta go wash my hair.” In this case, “I gotta go get converted . . . “  Watching it now, it is MUCH LESS SCARY than when I was a kid, but still creepy. Then again, I would credit the Dracula from 1979 as the movie I definitely shouldn’t have seen when I did (along with Poltergeist).

clip 3

“Well, that’s great, Ginny, I hope that works out well for ya. . . “
Classic.

Clip 4

In clip five, we finally know the ‘bad seed’ in the group, and we get this classic line: “It’s like a super evil credit card, only tattooed on your hand and forehead.”
I remember that idea. All, all too well.
Clip 5

Mmm snake bite!
Clip 6
Clip 7

Sermon: The Signs of the end times, specifically the appearance of the Anti Christ. EVERYBODY PANIC when empty pajamas are found. Wrench your hands at the ticking clock!
That screaming girl, the one who flips out thinking her mom is gone in the rapture? Yeah . . . freaky stuff to see when you’re a kid. . .
Clip 8

Have you ever chosen for him?  No?  You’re damned.  “God is holy, but he will also punish sin . . . God uses circumstances in our lives to bring us in a close relationship with himself.”

Okay, fine.  He should maybe start a little gentler than snakebites.
Clip 9

The rapture BEGINS:

Take over by the “Imperium.” One World Government never sounded so insidious:
Clip 10

Creepy-ass 0110 Tattooings:
Clip 11

Clip 12

I s’pose we presume she escapes, as Clip 13 shows her running around.

And, finally, the somewhat end: Clip 14

Of course, at the end of it all, she dies:

She doesn’t die before they figure out what’s up with those freak-ass tattoos – 0110 through super l33t hacking skillz:

There was a whole mess of these movies made by a production company called Mark IV.  I guess they gave up the Christian movie biz after producing The Shepherd in 1984, since their next production was “The Joys of Erotica.”

There’s a great page that summarizes the four movies created in this story line, which are, “A Thief in the Night,” “A Distant Thunder,” “Image of the Beast,” and “The Prodigal Planet.”

Watching these movies, it becomes clear how little innovation and imagination authors LeHaye and Jenkins actually have.  I actually read the entire Left Behind series, during my knee surgeries, and while I’ve only caught one of the movies, I have to say they are great if you want to read about mass destruction. . . but I don’t know that any other movie would freak me out quite like the Mark IV series of the 70’s.  It’s a hard one to top.

But the Antichrist Nicholae, as casted in the movie, and in the books, is actually quite smarmy and thus chilling:

Nicolae Carpathia, Antichrist in the world of "Left Behind"

As opposed to this guy, who is merely mildly amusing.

Antichrist from

The thing that has scared me lately about the end times prophecies aren’t so much the prophecies anymore. It’s the people that hold them dear. Search for ‘end times’ on youtube and google, and you’ll find several naming top ranking U.S. officials in on it. I would have thought it was total foolishness until I talked to my grandmother one day. She told me that violence had started in the city of Megiddo, and she was happy — the rapture was about to start.

SIGH!

 

Those random links again . . .

Interesting Concept

Still relevant . . .

 

hell of a thing to deal with, first thing in the morning

Crushed.
Exhausted.
Is this what I do it all for?